apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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