I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
