I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
