I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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