I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
