Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
organizing the empties. That sober.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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