no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Girls should come with a carfax report
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
