Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
