Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
