Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
