Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
