maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
