Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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