birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
