she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
