I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
