Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
