Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
