stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
