i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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