just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
