I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize