Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize