The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
