They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
