we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
