You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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