he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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