Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
