I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
