We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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