were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
