god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
