I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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