he wants to bone in the snuggie
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize