i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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