he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
