Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
