I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
