i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize