just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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