I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How's work?
Spinning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
