if you like me you must not know who I am
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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