Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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