if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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