i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
