Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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