i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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