i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
