i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
