I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
