Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
