Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
