He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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