How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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