He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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