I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
