i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
