kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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