they need to just BURY HIM!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This house was built for laser tag.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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