I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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