I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
