A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you win again, gameday.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I intend to get homeless drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
