who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize