Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
