Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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